Potato Eatin' Poser
by LokiOfArseguard
Summary: Rory Flanagan has a secret, how long will it go un-noticed? My first attempt at angst. Self-Harm, one little swear word. Sorry if its bad and please excuse the shite summary.
1. Chapter 1

A/N; OK, my story hiatus is over:3 this is my first attempt at angst and is completely un-beta'd, but anyway, enjoy! :)

" 'Leprechaun' starring a young Jen Aniston is my favourite movie, learned me two things. Number 1: Leprechauns like fixing shoe buckles because they are gay-.."

To think; that one syllable word at the end, so harmless, so simple on its own, could make Rory flinch, and make his heartbeat quicken quite considerably. Santana was standing quite close to him, her raven black hair almost sweeping his chest as she spoke, what if she could hear it? What if she had caught on? Santana could smell fear. In other words; he was screwed.

You see, when he'd travelled five thousand miles across the Atlantic ocean, he'd brought a secret with him. Something nobody else knew, and he was getting sick and tired of hiding it. Rory Flanagan was gay. He was sure, he tried denying it; that didn't work. He tried forcing himself to be straight, but that ended up just as he'd thought; in tears, his, and his ex-girlfriend's. He was ready for a new life in America, a break from the heartache he put himself through at home. Alas, no. Once he'd seen how the jocks and bullies dealt with their 'victims' here at McKinley, there was no way in hell he'd make HIMSELF a victim. So here he was, back where he started, lying to keep a secret.

Once Santana was quite finished with her verbal lynching, he had to go to class. All through History class, he just couldn't direct any of his attention towards the dull, monotone voice Mr Adgey, all he could think about was that one word, and all the heart-wrenching pain that it took to cover it up. He knew he couldn't keep it up, he wasn't strong enough for that, but he knew that it was best to hide it away for now, to enjoy just being 'Rory, the Irish guy who had a thing for Brittany', (although he knew she was a cover-up for the time being), before he automatically became 'Rory, the gay Irish guy who likes dick'.

He knew the one way that helped with this sort of ache, he wasn't proud of it and it made a bloody awful mess, but ANYTHING was better than living with this god-awful pain deep down in his chest.

As soon as he was home, he ran for the bathroom. He made sure to double-check he locked the door, even though he knew nobody was home yet. The young boy filed through the bathroom cabinet until he found the gleam of a silver razor. He closed his eyes and sat down on the ground, thinking back to happy, simple times. Times when he was able to run around, chipper and excitable, back before he even knew there were such thing as 'being gay'. He remembered back to the times when he thought he was normal, when he thought he was the same as all his other mates.

His eyes filled up quickly, tears over-spilling onto his pale cheeks. His heart was rapidly filling up with emotion, rising up through his chest and he sobbed harder and harder.

He couldn't hold on any longer.

He took the razor, closed his eyes and swiped it heavily down his forearm, relishing in the pain. He opened his eyes and saw the blood quietly dripping onto the ground. It felt so good, he couldn't help but do it again, only more heavy down his wrist this time. He looked down to see the torn, bloodied skin and he finally felt good about himself. He continued doing this for around 15 more minutes then stopped, washed the razor, wiped away the excess blood, and pulled his sleeves down over his wrists. He wiped away a couple of stray tears on his cheeks then got up, unlocked the door and carried on as if nothing ever happened.


	2. Chapter 2

Okaaay! Well, this was originally meant to be a one-shot, but what the hell, let's make it a three-shot! ;D (If that's what you call them... ;P)

Enjoy guyssss:3

He knew it was wrong, he knew he may well get caught. He couldn't help it though, the second his blood spilled, he felt a weight lift from his chest, that he was in a happy place, running through the streets of his old village to the bus stop to meet his mates before going to school, rather than being in America, kneeling in basically a stranger's bathroom sitting beside a pool of his own blood, deep cuts and some possible scars scattering across his wrists and forearms. He knew it wasn't right, that what he was doing was destroying him, but then again it didn't feel wrong either, so he didn't stop.

He could get away with for now, wearing long sleeved shirts under his t-shirts was completely, it was the middle of winter in Lima, Ohio. He knew this excuse wouldn't hold out, he'd just have to think of something knew when summer rolled around.

His friends in Glee Club also noticed a change in Rory's behaviour. He used to be so upbeat, cheery and rearing to go, now he was almost a shadow of his former self, quiet, withdrawn, jumpy, not to mention pale and worryingly thin. One word to sum it up, he looked physically drained. Little did they know that they'd hit the nail on the head.

Today, it had been all too much. He felt the familiar aching that was normally scorching his chest, only this time, he knew he just couldn't wait until he got back home.

First thing he'd known he was walking down the hall, minding his own business when Rick the Stick and his hockey team mates, literally came out of nowhere. They all held large cups full to the brim with green slushie.

"Hey, lucky charms we even got the apple slushies, we all know how **FOND **you are of the colour green, don't we boys?" jeered Rick.

Before he knew it, it was over. And his eyes were teary half from the slushie, half from the pure emotion he felt. He felt unwanted, unloved and most prominently, alone. He felt completely and utterly alone.

He'd sprinted to his locker and shuffled around a few books on the shelf until he found what he was looking for and pulled out a familiar tool that he saw basically every day. He picked it up and hurriedly shoved it into his bag.

The young Irish boy shut himself in a cubicle, thinking that he was alone. Thinking that no one had saw and no one was going to be following after him. He slid down the wall, put his hands over his eyes and just sobbed. Pure, raw, straight-from-the-heart tears that felt hot on his cool, pale skin.

He'd just dragged a couple of hard strokes down his left wrist when he heard a gentle tap on the cubicle door. Rory's believed his heart was about to jump clean out of his chest. The mystery person jiggled with the lock, opened the faulty door and gasped sharply at the scene they'd seen before them.

A/N; oooh! Could you call that a decent cliffhanger? :S I don't know. Okay well, someone has found Rory. Any guesses?;) Constructive criticism is 100% welcome as I have never wrote angst before because I never believed I'd be any good at it... :S Until next time folks! Oh, and this was wrote at 02;41 am (i.e. I couldn't sleep so I thought to myself; "YES. LET'S WRITE FANFICTION AT RIDICULOUS O'CLOCK, WHAT COULD GO WRONG?")


	3. Chapter 3

_**Hehehehe, I should really learn from my mistakes, shouldn't I? I just re-read my last chapter, which I made SO MANY mistakes in it, it's un-real. But just cause I'm a lazy arse, I'm not gonna bother re-writing it ;P So yep, I just have learned from THAT mistake but here I am writing this at 02:25am ;) **_

_**Enjoy the last chapter darlingsss! :D**_

Rory was too scared to look up at the person standing before him. He couldn't blame the person for gasping at him. It was a horrible sight to see he must admit.

The Irish boy didn't move an inch, his muscles and joints frozen in fear. He heard footsteps step away, but then come back. The blood was still running freely from an open wound, he could feel it 'drip, drip, dripping' onto the ground, adding to the puddle of red liquid on the grubby tiles.

The mystery person bent down, so Rory decided that he had to look up, and when he did he discovered his eyes were still swimming in tears, clouding his vision, so all he could see was a blur black hair and colourful clothing kneeling beside him.

When he had slowly and cautiously wiped the remaining tears from his eyes, he saw before him none other than Blaine Anderson, boyfriend of Kurt Hummel, and also fellow glee club member.

Blaine looked cautiously and sympathetically at the chocolate haired boy crouched on the ground, Blaine's handful of paper towels outstretched towards Rory's bloodied arm. Only then did Rory realise that neither of them had spoken yet.

"Erm, may I?" Blaine said softly, signalling towards the cuts on Rory's arm.

"Yeah, em... sure g- go ahead" Rory whispered, his voice shakey and rough.

Blaine then dabbed gently at Rory's self-inflicted injuries. Rory just wanted to curl up and cry, this was something he wanted to deal with alone, he didn't need anybody knowing, anybody even remotely feeling the pain he went through every day. Life was a daily struggle, and _this _seemed to make it easier, less of a burden for him, and it appeared to work, for the minute anyway.

Blaine gulped then looked up into Rory's electric-blue eyes, and it felt like he could peer right into Rory's soul. Blaine could almost _feel_ the pain in the young boy's heart.

"Why?" Blaine simply stated.

Rory swallowed the ever-growing lump in his throat then replied quietly, his voice wobbling,

"I have a secret Blaine, something so simple, so natural about myself, but I can't admit to it. I just can't. It drives me insane and I just feel like I can't escape it any more, I can't carry on pretending to be something I'm not".

Blaine's heart was simply tearing, seeing the Irish lad get so upset and so emotional.

"What is it? You can trust me, I promise, I want to help" said the former warbler, still dabbing at the multiple cuts on the younger boy's forearm.

Rory swallowed hard and closed his eyes, was he really doing this? Was he really gathering what little courage he had left and actually telling someone?

"I'm gay. I pretend to be interested in girls, I try forcing myself to be straight, for the sake of people around me. I know they won't treat me the same if I told them, because I'm not the person they thought I was. With Rick the Stick already hell bent on making my life a misery, I can't and won't give him something else to use against me" Rory said hurriedly and in a hushed tone, even though he knew they were alone.

Blaine was completely gobsmacked, he couldn't believe it. Was the young boy really too afraid to even tell the people he trusted, in the safe haven that was glee club, where everyone's differences are accepted, like one big family.

Rory was however, still trying to wrap his head around the fact that he'd finally told someone. He felt a weird fluttering feeling, almost like a weight lifting from inside his chest, the same feeling , he recalls, as when those shiny, silver metal blades tore his pale, porcelain skin to shreds. Rory finally felt better on the inside, and realised what he needed to do.

Once Blaine had finished clearing up Rory's arm in silence, Rory stood up, then wrapped his long arms around the shorter boy's neck. Blaine hugged him back tightly round the waist, then felt the taller lad's breath tickle his ear.

"Thank-you Blaine Anderson, I really appreciate it".

Blaine smirked at how Rory always seemed to say people surnames, even in general conversation.

Later on that day, Rory stood up and asked to make an announcement in glee club. He stood up, walked to the front and rolled up his sleeves. Everyone else stared at him in shock and disbelief, staring at the deep red gashes and multiple numbers of scars scattered on his wrists and forearms. Rory took a breath and spoke with as much confidence as he could muster up,

"Everybody, up until now, I have been lying to all of you..."

Brittany looked over at Santana and whispered,

"So he really is a leprechaun?"

Santana just laughed quietly and linked pinkies with her blonde girlfriend.

Meanwhile, Rory continued talking,

"I have something to tell you all, I am gay. I've hidden it ever since before coming to America, when I came here, I wanted a break from all the heart-wrenching pain I caused myself back home, I thought America was the land of dreams, where you are accepted, no matter what you are. When I saw the likes of Rick the Stick, I went with my better judgement and kept my secret to myself. Then, I started doing this.." Rory signals to his arms.

Everyone was completely speechless, except one person. Blaine stood up and started clapping, smiling at Rory and silently admiring the courage it had took to actually say all these things. Soon everyone was joining in, until Tina ran over and threw her arms around the Irish boy. Soon everyone was joined in the mighty group hug. Rory smiled for the first time in weeks, looked up at the ceiling and thought silently,

"Maybe everything will be ok after all".

_**A/N; OK GUYSSS. This is done. Also, I'm really not happy with this chapter for some reason, I don't know. It just doesn't seem as good as my other two chapters. Well, I hoped you guys liked it, cause for some strange reason I really enjoyed writing it;P I know, I must have a sick, twisted mind. OH AND BTW, I really want to write more fics and one-shots, but get awfully stuck on ideas :/ If you have any prompts you'd like to see me write, just inbox me and I'll get right on it :3 ( I will update my Bio and write the ships that I CAN write, because frankly if I don't particularly like the ship I'm writing about, the fic tends to turn out like a pile of shite. Plus, sorry for doing an extra long authors note, I just had a lot to say for some reason... o.O anyway, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed my wee three-shot and first shitty attempt at writing angst ;3 xo**_


End file.
